Guys, contrary to what you may have been taught and conditioned by porn, advertisements, and the barrage of other cultural and mass media messages you’ve ingested your whole lives, rather than gauking over how “hot” or put together women are on the surface, what will really open a woman up to you is when she can trust you. When you’ve shown her consistently that you’ve got her back. When you step up to see her—really see her– and get to know her deepest desires, dreams, and fantasies without criticism or judgement.
Flexing your muscles, showing off your intellect or accomplishments, or bringing your machismo game may get you so far, but when you “enter” a woman at the soul level–when you see her depth, her intelligence, her creativity, her nurturing, her passion–and you make it feel safe for her to be vulnerable in all of those things. Boom. Done. She will be like putty in your hands and much more willing to try new things in the bedroom and beyond.
Why? Because in order to get vulnerable—to let go—to open up to trying new things sexually, women need to feel safe. And it may take some time for her to get there because we’re all recovering from the age where the amped up aggressive male reigned supreme. But the sense of safety that women desire doesn’t come from testosterone-laden asshole guys who are more interested in how often they can score and how great your tits are. You may get a certain level of responsiveness from flexing your muscles and bringing your machismo, but it will be short-lived.
If you want to truly master unlocking the sensuality and sexuality that lies deep within women over the long term, it’s actually your softer side that’s going to get you there. Good news for the sensitive fellas. Nice guys DO finish first.
Betsy Koepke is an Educational Psychologist & Relationships Expert. Betsy and her husband Tyler (Advisor & Instructor) conduct private couples retreats and have created an online course– “Couples Connection: How to Keep the Spark Alive.”
To particiate in Module 1 of their online course for FREE, click here: